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Some Short Humor Stories

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AVOCADOS

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had avocados."

If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again! Men will get it the first time.

My work is done here.

WATER IN THE CARBURETOR

WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."

HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous "

WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out.

Where's the car?

WIFE: "In the pool".

STATISTIC

THIS IS A FRIGHTENING STATISTIC , PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST WORRISOME IN RECENT YEARS.

25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.

That's scary. It means 75% are running around untreated.

THE PHONE

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone. He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features.

Meg was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone.

The next day Meg went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end.

"Hi Meg," he said, "how do you like your new phone?"

Meg replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though."

"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.

"How did you know I was at Wall-Mart?"

HE MUST PAY

Husband and wife had a tiff. Wife called up her mom and said, "He fought with me again, I am coming to live with you."

Mom said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you.

TODAY'S SHORT READING FROM THE BIBLE

From Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth."

Then He made the earth round and He laughed and laughed and laughed

 

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:biggrin:

I pass them through Dianne first. If I come out unscathed, I figure they are safe to post.

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If I were you, I would feed some of my next home-cooked meals to the dog first, just to be sure.

 

OP

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If I were you, I would feed some of my next home-cooked meals to the dog first, just to be sure.

 

OP

But, I love my dogs!

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But, I love my dogs!

If your wife is computer-illiterate, now is not the time to teach her!

 

OP

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Have heard them before , but still got a chuckle . Thanks for posting .

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Our pastor friend, in one of his sermons, said that someone asked him if he woke up grumpy in the morning. He said "No, I just let her sleep". He confided to us that their couch is a whole lot more comfortable than you might think.

 

OP

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